While most people buy sex toys for personal pleasure, others are open to sharing it with their partner. Introducing a sex toy to the relationship is not easy to do. As most sex toys seem to be designed for women, men are hesitant to use them in the bedroom. They see it as competition or a basis of their sexual prowess. Getting your partner to accept the use of a vibrator as a shared sex toy takes time. They need to achieve a certain comfort level with it first and to see it as a tool to help them, nothing more.

Once they’re okay with it, you now have to set rules for when and how to use it as a shared toy. First, is control. Who keeps control of the sex toy in the bedroom. I personally prefer giving control of the sex toy to my partner as this will continuously increase his comfort with using it. It is also more exciting to see him find new ways in using it on me.

Second is keeping it clean. Any toy that you share with your partner needs to be washed with each use. This is especially true if you are not in a monogamous relationship as sex toys can pick up and transfer STDs when not cleaned before use.

Third is communication. The essence of sharing a sex toy is like anything else in sex. He or she won’t fully understand how you feel about a certain move unless you communicate it. When using the sex toy on you, tell your partner what you like. If he or she likes experimenting, be open to it and let your partner know if it feels good or if you are uncomfortable with anything. The more open you are with our feelings towards anything in the bedroom, the better sex will be.

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